Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Assignment 3
I believe that I am at the intamacy vs. isolation state in Erikson's stages of psychological development. Trust vs Mistrust, the very first stage, really effected how I am at this stage today. My father walked out on our family and I when I was younger and never came back. I completely lost all trust in males since this time. Slowly it comes back, but even when a good guy friend hurts me the slightest bit I go back into my mindset that all men are the same. Which has deeply effected how I deal with intamacy vs isolation. I get close to people, and one tiny tiny thing will send me to completely lose my trust in them and I go back and isolate myself from everyone for a long time. It happens time and time again, but lately less then it was before.
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6 comments:
I understand why you are going back in forth to the Trust vs. Mistrust stage. My father did some what of the same thing. He was here for a month and then would leave for a month and back and forth. He’s finally back and has been trying to mold our relationship back together. At the same time you feel like you can’t trust them any longer.
I also identify with you on this issue. My father left right after my twin brother and I were born, returned when we were 2 and left agian for good when we were 3. My mother remarried when we were 9 and he became my father. Because of this I did not marry until I was 36 years old. I never believed I would find an intamacy that would last, I have been married now for Going on two years. We are in this relationship for the long haul, I love my wife and I know that she loves me. It just took me a longer time to reach this stage then it takes the average person. There are "good" men out there sometimes they are closer then you think.
I understand what you are going through, my dad was with our family for 18 years and then just up and decided he wanted to have a different life. seeing how what he did affected my mom, it made me really think when my fiance and I first started talking about marriage because although I knew my fiance wouldn't do what my dad did to me, I couldn't help in the back of my mind, being just a little afraid that i might someday have to go through what my mom is going through.
I can see why you have trouble trusting men. My examples of men haven't been the greatest either so it's hard to believe I'll ever find someone who is different and won't treat me like crap.
i understand the part where they do one thing and then you go back to not trusting again, but my problem is i don't trust at all. i don't know why i just never had.
I am impressed with your ability to be open with your personal story. It's great that you are comfortable sharing that with the class.
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